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"But to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship." Listening is important, but she also wants to know that she is being heard. When she pauses, she's giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way, says Kirschner.
Women don't set a timeline on when they'll invite a potential partner into the bedroom.
Some women will want to have many dates before sex. "Women want sex but they get to it in a different way," says psychologist Kirschner, who has helped hundreds of couples achieve a more rewarding relationship.
"If she likes a guy in tight jeans, you wear tight jeans." OK, this tip doesn't come from women, but from clever testing by psychologists of women's subconscious preferences. "Women love personal growth, they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive." She likes it when her man recognizes a flaw -- a short temper, for example, or a regularly sullen mood after work -- and loves it when he makes an effort to address it.
One intriguing study found that the color red made men seem more powerful, attractive, and sexually desirable to women. When something's bothering her, she wants your ear, not your advice.